


Ghost Of You

by Still_Love_The_Moon



Category: Soy Luna (TV)
Genre: F/M, I'm Sorry, Matteo is an amazing friend and deserves more, Ramiro is a ghost, and happiness, angst is all i live about, but she won't have them in here, i don't write happy stuff, Ámbar can see ghosts, Ámbar needs hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 02:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20418539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Still_Love_The_Moon/pseuds/Still_Love_The_Moon
Summary: Some love’s stories aren’t made to be lived.a.k.a.Ámbar and Ramiro’s love story is a tragedy.





	Ghost Of You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry in advance :)

** _Prologue_ **

The first time she sees a ghost is after her cousin Luna almost drowned her. She is nine and she is skating and yer younger cousin is dancing near the pool. One minute she is lost in her thoughts, the music playing in all the garden and, the next, she is gasping for air and trying to pull herself on the surface with Luna screaming her name at the top of her lungs- _which is a lot for an eight years old, but she is not gonna complain._

The second she is out and wrapped in her aunt Monica's hug- _and a towel_\- she can see things- _person_\- that shouldn't be there and no one believes her. Which, she understands that is the most realistic option, but still she is offended and she will be petty about it for the rest of her life.

Sharon thinks is a brain injury- _Ámbar bites her tongue to not tell her that she is a brain injury because she knows that the price for that comeback wouldn't be worthy_\- and wants to bring her to a doctor, Alfredo dismiss the thing by saying that it's probably just her childish imagination but she should still be checked by someone and Miguel says that she should probably see a therapist since she almost drowned and could be PTSD. Monica- _Ámbar will love her forever for that_\- close the discussion, telling them all to shut up and let her rest for the day because she doesn't need other things to stress about.

The ghost of an old lady behind her snorts- _in a total, not lady-like way that Sharon would hate_\- saying something along the line of 'That's my daughter'. Before she can even see a therapist's studio she shut up about the ghosts, pretends that the incident never happened- _hard when Alfredo doesn't let her near the pool for the rest of the summer_\- and that ghosts don't' exist.

Her family goes back to normal and she learns how to live with her gift- _last time she called it a curse a ghost wanted to slap her in the face and the only thing stopping it was the fact that they pass through humans_\- without letting others noticing.

Then Ramiro Ponce dies and starts to haunt her because she is the only one that can see him.

_And she wants to kill him again._

**i.**

Ramiro Ponce is an idiot. A fucking idiot and a spineless coward that can choke on a fork- or he could have done it since he is dead now.

He had a car accident and Ámbar wants to scream that she always told him, million of times, that he always went to fast, but she reprime herself because she is grieving him. Even if he doesn't deserve it, even after everything he did.

They grew up together, friends since they were little idiots running around in the garden of the mansion. With their group, they ruled the school- _and the Jam & Roller and everywhere else they went because they were **that **iconic**.**_

He was always the funny one, the sunshine of the group. Hell, Ámbar always thought that he was the only one of them that judged people without being a complete jerk.

Then he skipped Luna's funeral and then they found out that he flew out of the town without even having the decency to tell them or call them or paying respect for her cousin.

That's probably where everything went to shit because if he didn't care for his friends then they shouldn't care about him, right?

No, because they all care for him, even if they are still pissed. And now Ámbar is crying for his death in Matteo's living room with the rest of her friends, hugging Jazmin tightly to support her. He doesn't even deserve them after the little stunt at Luna's funeral.

He shows up one hour later they found out-_ of course, he had to do it_\- standing in a corner and watching everyone with a pale face and guilty expression- _serves him right._

She wants to get up and punch him but it would be a little weird since no one else can see him- _she wishes that she couldn't see him either._

He turns her head to watch her and when he realizes that she can see him, he swallows. Then the bastard tilts his head to the side, a smirk on his face as he realizes what's going on, and wave his hand in her direction.

That's when she realizes that she is fucked.

**ii.**

"Does this dude never stops talking?"- he asks annoyed without moving his eyes from the dude he is referring. The priest. He is referring to the priest that is holding his funeral as an annoying dude- "It's like blah blah blah, Jeez just shut up and let them mourn me in peace."

He is standing right next to her and he's making really bad jokes that only she can hear.

_Would it be weird if she opened the casket and slapped the body of Ramiro with the excuse that he deserved it?_

"Shouldn't you be crying?"- he asks leaning towards her face and pretending to not notice that she is done with him and just want to be left alone- "You know, mourning me or something like that?"

Ámbar wants to laugh in his face- _how can she mourn him when he is standing right in front of her and he's annoying her with his jokes?_\- but it's not the best thing to do since they are in a graveyard and someone is dead. At least for everyone else.

She hates that place because they are always more people around that they should be-_ but there are never the ones that she needs-_ and now she has to stand him too?

"Not a single tear? That's hurt Ámbs, makes me think you hate me"

_She does, but at the same time, she doesn't. It's complicated._

Ramiro was a pain in the ass when he was alive but still, they grew up together, they were best friends. Then everything happened so fast and she wanted him dead. She never meant dead like this, more on metaphorically way.

Matteo grabs her hand, holding tightly and trying not to cry- _he fails, memories crossing his minds too quickly to stop them_\- and Ramiro shut up for a few seconds, knowing that he can't do anything for his living friend.

It takes Ámbar a few minutes to realize that the Chilean is gone, disappearing the second Matteo breaks down against her shoulder.

**iii.**

She thinks that is the end, that Ramiro I'm-the-asshole-that-didn't-showed-up-at-Luna's-funeral Ponce will leave her alone and she would just add his name to the people she is mourning and then will move on.

He saw his funeral, the guys that a long time ago were his friends and he can move on to his next life or the white path or whatever he wants to do because she doesn't care for him.

Sadly it's not the end, at least not for her.

Ramiro is in her apartment, waiting for her on the couch, sitting upside down like he used to do at the mansion.

_ **HE IS FUCKING HAUNTING HER.** _

**iv.**

She ignores him for two days straight-_ two longs day of bad jokes about death and annoying questions-_ before she eventually breaks and confronts him.

"Aren't you suppose to move on?"- she doesn't really know how it works because she never died-_ inside doesn't count apparently_\- and most of the ghosts don't even know that she can see them- "So you can finally leave me alone"  
"Well it's my first time as dead, I don't know what to do"- the boy smirks, thinking that is funny and she is gonna laugh- "Aren't you the one that talks to ghosts?"

Does he fucking think she has a manual or something like that? Do her memories fool her and he is actually fucking dumb?

"I don't talk with them and they don't talk with me, which is a really great deal for both of us"- she wonders if Ghostbusters are real? Maybe she could check on the Internet, that would be a really good idea.

"That's depressing"

She wants to ask what's his deal, what's his unfinished business with the world. There must be a reason why he can't leave her alone, but she tells herself that she doesn't care for him. She does, even if she doesn't like it.

"You are a shitty ghost-talker"- he sounds serious but his smile tells her that he is not.

"You are a shitty ghost"

_There is a high chance that he might die again._

**first act**

_When Ámbar Smith was younger and dumb, she had a crush on Ramiro Ponce. He was sweet, charming and funny._

_It was her little secret, her own dirty, little secret._

_Then she realized he was a fucking idiot._

**v.**

She founds out that having a ghost as a roommate is not that bad- _most of the time._

They don't leave the toilet seat up after they peed as Matteo used to do, they don't eat her favorite yogurt like Delfi and they don't steal her precious and beautiful clothes to go on dates with Nico- _Jazmin could never be trusted again after that._

But then again her roommate is the ghost of Ramiro fucking Ponce, so it's definitely bad.

He is a pain in the ass and he wants to make sure remembers it every second of the day.

He complains about what she eats _("You've been eating the same meal for three days straight" "I really fucking like salad, okay?"),_ what she watches on TV- _if she is the one that can touch the remote, she is the one that chose what to watch_\- he annoys her when she is reading something and he makes faces behind the people she's trying to talk to.

_If he was human she would have thrown him out, but he's a ghost and she can't touch him._

**vi.**

"I won't talk for three days and I won't show up either but, please, for God's s-"

"I thought you were an atheist. Death made you change your mind?"- she teases him, putting the DVD of Titanic on and getting ready to enjoy her film.

"For someone's sake can you please, pretty pretty please, not watch Titanic again?"

She pretends to think about it- _she will never says this out loud, but she does think about that because she can't stand him anymore and would do anything to make him shut up_\- then she simply says 'no'. A little word but it's not like he can do something to change her mind, it's her choice.

"Why can't we watch something else? You always pick the movie!"

He can't stand another evening watching that movie, that's his own personal hell, but the girl seems to love it endlessly.

She looks at him in disbelief- is he seriously asking that?- stopping herself from reminding him that she is the only alive, human being in that house.

She doesn't do that, though, because it would be too insensible even for her- he doesn't deserve kindness but she spent too much time with Simón after Luna's death and he made her soft.

They watch the movie together like always and, surprisingly, he doesn't complain.

_At least, not that much._

**vii.**

The thing that Ámbar learned with time, is that seeing ghosts is not that bad once you get used to it.

You learn that is not as poetic or beautiful like in movies because the ghosts are not pretty. They are paler then they were in real life with sad expressions on their face, they leave this tiny dust wherever they go- _that disappear in a few seconds_\- and the longer they stay on Earth, trying to fulfill their porpuses the shadest they get. She saw one of them one time and it terrified her in ways that she can't, yet, elaborate.

It was just a black silhouette standing on the corner of the road, watching a kid playing basketball with a sad smile of his face, or what was left of a face.

She saw family members watching the others, at least for a few seconds, before vanishing and she wished she had those moments too.

When Luna died, the first of the long list, she never visited her for saying good-bye or checking on her and it broke her heart knowing that she didn't care about her feelings, then her mother died and did the same thing- but she is not surprised that Sharon Benson didn't think of her.

Her biggest lost, hower, is without a doubt her grandad Alfredo that died a few weeks before her twenty-one birthday, leaving a grieving girl behind, breaking her heart when she realized that he wouldn't have come visiting her. But again, why would he? He was already with his favorite niece.

_They never showed and she is still waiting for them._

**viii.**

They live like that for a few weeks- _well she lives, he just ghosts around the house_\- before it happens.

She was particularly moody that day- _blame Matteo that kept her up till 3 am_\- and Ramiro was joking around, pushing her until she exploded. Of course, he forgot that it was Luna's birthday- _or it would have been if she was still alive-_ he doesn't care how much time pass or what day is, he just care to haunt her until she is even more miserable than she already feels.

So when it happens everything became a battlefield and, later a greek tragedy.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Ramiro is a little taken back-_ it's the first time she doesn't respond with a sarcastic comeback_\- not knowing exactly how to handle an extra mad Ámbar, mostly because he doesn't know what's going on with her.

"For once in your life can you shut up and leave me the fuck alone?"- she means all of that-_ being haunted is not something that she likes_\- but at this point, she is mad, and hurt and just want to be left alone for some time and he is pissing her off, so she doesn't care if she hurt his feelings in the process. She just wants a fucking break from everything.

"What's wrong with you today?"- the blonde ignores how his voice sounds hurt because she is not gonna deal with a sad ghost right now- _she never wanted to deal with a ghost in the first place._

"What's wrong with me? Well, for starters, I can see and talk with ghosts"- she starts explaining- "Two, the one guy that I considered my friend left me alone the day of my cousin's funeral without even having the decency to call **me** and third, today is said cousin birthday and everyone is constantly asking me to go out with them because they are scared that I'll do something stupid"- exasperation fills her voice and she hates herself because she doesn't want anyone to see her breakdown- _even if he is a ghost._

Everyone is constantly expecting her to explode like a bomb and Ámbar doesn't want to, but it's hard mourning someone when you are still waiting for them to visit you.

The conversation dies there because Delfi shows up unexpectedly claiming that she fought with Pedro-_ is just an excuse to talk with Ámbar and stay with he_r- and Ramiro disappears is a second.

_He knows that he screwed up, but he wants to make amend._

**ix.**

"Hey Ámbar"

"I thought you disappeared"

"Do you think I'm still beautiful, even as a ghost?"

"You were beautiful when you were alive?"

**x.**

He thinks they are cool then, or at least until she calls him in her room two nights after their fight. He wants to make some jokes about inviting boys in her room at night, but he stops himself. She is crying and he doesn't know what to do or how to make her feel better.

He never saw her cry- _well, maybe when they were kids but she almost broke her arm it was normal_\- and he doesn't even what's going on.

She is a mess- _beautiful and complicated, but still a mess_\- and usually, she would handle things alone but this time she can't anymore.

For the last years of her life, she tried to handle everything and everyone in her way- _Luna's death, Sharon's death, and Alfredo's death_\- trying to not make anyone worry about her or her feelings. She had been there for everyone but she ignored her feelings until they became too many.

He looks at her from the frame of the door, still not moving, still trying to understand what's going- why did she suddenly breakdown?- when he notices that she is holding Luna's old diary in her hands.

_Well, that explains a lot..._

"I'm sorry for yesterday, I j-just couldn'-"- she can't even talk and she feels pathetic- _what would Sharon think of her?_\- but it's not like Ramiro care if she is crying. He is more worried about what could happen if he leaves her alone.

"It doesn't matter Ámbs"- it's just a whisper but she hears it anyway and that makes her cry even harder, to his surprise.

He sits on her bed, trying to hug but trespassing her and giving her chills while he feels warm under the hands- _he hasn't felt that in a while._

He listens to her for the whole night. Listen to how she blames herself, how everyone is copying and she can't move on, like the moment Monica told her that Luna was dead is stuck in on repeat in her head. She tells him about her ex Benicio and everything he put her through, she opens up about why she is always so mad. When she is over he tells her about the Adrenaline, how they put him in bad habits that he tried to quit them, but only got worse after Luna's death. Which is why he could go to her funeral, because he felt so ashamed of himself and that Luna would have hated him.

They fall asleep together, facing each other and maybe- _only maybe_\- having Ramiro around is not that bad anymore.

**second act**

_When Ámbar Smith was an innocent little girl she had a best friend, Ramiro Ponce. Then they fought and she hated him. **Then **he died and he started haunting her._

_That's how the tragedy started._

**xi.**

Turns out that after that night a lot of things change.

He is not a little shit anymore and staying around him is actually funny- _she feels like they went back to be kids_. They watch movies and spend days talking. Until Jazmin's knock on the door of her apartment to talk with her. She hasn't been much around lately and her friends want to check on her.

The blonde sips her tea while her friend shows her some magazines with the latest trends, Ramiro realizes that no matter how much time passes, Jazmin is always gonna be Jazmin-_ and he loves her for that._

"Are you gonna go back to the mansion one day?"- the redhead asks in a moment of silence, almost making the other girl choke on her precious tea- it's green tea and Ramiro teased her about that too.

She never really thought of it- _yes, the mansion has been her home for her whole life but she is haunted by the memory of Luna there_\- and, for the first time in her life, she is not sure of what to answer. She misses that place, but mostly she misses the memories she had there- she misses who used to live there.

"I'm not sure of it, why?"- it's a simple question and yet Jazmin sighs, making her furrow her eyebrows. Both of them know the answer, one of them just don't want to accept it.

"You haven't been around much lately, not since Ramiro's funeral. We are worried for you"- she is whispering- _why everyone always whispers? Is that a secret move that she doesn't know, is there an actual reason or people can't raise their fucking voices?_\- and she is terrified to make her mad.

Everyone knows that talking to Ámbar about her feelings it's like walking on a mine-strewn and it would be better to leave her alone, let her think about everything alone- _like always_\- but then they remember. Remember how miserable she was after Luna, how she couldn't even get up from the bed for a whole week. Her screams whenever she had a nightmare and when she finally broke down, trying to keep herself together but failing. How hard it was to convince her that she wasn't broken, she was grieving and it was okay. They don't want that to happen again.

Ámbar understands her point of view but it's hard grieving for the boy that she can see standing in the hallway with a sad smile on his face.

**xii.**

The morning of her birthday she wakes up with Ramiro already by her side, looking at her and waiting to start the day- _to piss her off._

"You are creepy"- and if he was still alive she would have pushed him down the bed and called the police but it's just her roommate ghost- "Couldn't you wait for me in the kitchen?"  
"Happy birthday Ámbs"- he states, completely ignoring what she said before- "What are we gonna do today?"

"Gas told me that Teo threw me a party. Seriously is sad how that guy can't even keep a secret"- she is rambling, he knows because she keeps moving her mouth and he can hear words but he is too busy watching her face. He feels sixteen all over again when they talked about everything and he got lost in her eyes. When he used to spend hours wondering what would feel like to kiss her and hold her in his arms. Except that he is twenty-two and he is dead now. But it could be worse, right?

"I would ask you to come to the party but- "- she doesn't end the sentence, she doesn't need to because Ramiro understands.

_He is dead and no one would see him. No one will see him ever again._

"We can always watch a movie, but I'm gonna chose it this time"

She laughs and he follows her. None of the two notices that their smiles don't reach their eyes, and they won't know that it's for the same reason.

_He is dead and nothing can change that._

**xiii.**

She missed her friends. And she realizes it as soon as she steps in the room and the group is there waiting, smiles on their faces and birthday's gift on the table near the lemon cake that she loves. A cake that was probably made by Matteo since he hates buying the in the pastry shop-_ and that's definitely not because he fought with the employer._

She missed them so much and yet, she can't shake the feeling that something-_ or someone_\- is missing. Maybe she is just so used to have Ramiro around that is weird being without him, even if it's only for a few hours.

They drink and party all night, feeling like they are seventeen and rebels all over again and maybe- _only for one little second_\- they are. They don't have to worry about the friends they lost, about the family that they lost. They just care about the moment and for a few hours, they are free.

Then it all ends just as fast as it started. Ámbar is slightly drunk- _she is wasted but she is denial_\- and Simón offers her a passage home- her apartment is on the way.

Pedro and Nico fall asleep in the car and the girl would make fun of them if she wasn't too busy looking at the stars from the window.

They have small talks- _it's not like drunk Ámbar would have a whole conversation_\- and he found ironic how she can still be her usual smart-ass self even when she is that drunk.

"I'm just stating that 12 is definitely the worse multiple of 4, everyone knows that"- she exclaims while he tries to carry her to her apartment, trying to know laugh at what she is saying- if he could record her when she is like this he would, but then she would kill him and that's not a really good thing.

"Yeah, silly of me to forget it"-he replies and luckily she doesn't catch his sarcasm in that moment because otherwise, he would have to listen to her complaining- _and this is not a good moment._

He opens the door and he can't see Ramiro standing in the corner, looking worried at the scene. Maybe he is a little disappointed that he is dead because he can't carry her like that, or just touch her in general, but he is not gonna admit it out loud.

"I want to sleep"- she is drunk and he smiles because she is adorable and cute and everything she can be and she is looking at him. Yes, could only be spaced out and not in her right mind but she is looking at him, not Simón.

"You are going to sleep bonita, just give me a few seconds"- he brings her to her bedroom and Ramiro follows them closely, making fun of the nickname under his breath. It's not like he would hear him anyway, which is good because he completely loses his shit when he sees Simón struggling to remove her high heels-_ it's not that hard, he is just really tired, ok?_\- cursing them under his breath.

The Mexican looks around the room, looking for something that could keep her warm-_ he has no intention of undressing her._

The ghost opens his eyes when he notices the hoodie his friend is putting on her. It was his, from one of the last time he visited the Mansion, long before he screwed up everything- _she kept it? Even after everything he did. He left it in the mansion the day they graduated_\- the best day of his life for many reasons.

The boy that is alive kisses her on the forehead- _lingering a little too much to be only a friendly kiss_\- before closing the door of the room and turning off the light to let her sleep.

_Simón is alive and always had chemistry with Ámbar. He is dead and disappointed her too many time. In his mind, that's a battle that he has already lost. In her's, there was never one._

**xiv.**

The next morning Ámbar is in hangover and Ramiro tries to cheer her up for three hours before she goes to sleep again.

"Last night was fun, uh?"- he sarcastic question when she groans against her pillow.

"Shut up"- she replies annoyed, trying to understand where the buzzing comes from- _if her neighbor is masturbating again in the bathroom at 9 am she is gonna throw hands at her husband because he can't make her cum_\- "Have someone ever told you how much you are annoying?"

"You did it, for all my life and even after"- he answers quickly before remembering what happened last night with his old friend- _until he has answers about where those two romantically stands, he is no longer gonna call him by his name_\- "What happened last night with Romeo?"

"Who the fuck is Romeo?"- he realizes from the skepticism in her voice that maybe is not the best thing to be petty and not say his name.

"Our beloved Mexican, you idiot"

She doesn't answer immediately and his heart would miss a beat if he still had one, then she snorts and starts laughing.

"He just gave a ride home. You know he is always nice with everyone"

_He doesn't kiss everyone like that, though._

He talks with her until she falls asleep and he disappears in the kitchen, looking at the note the boy left for her the night before.

'You must hate me because I've let you sleep in that dress but at least I gave you the hoodie. Hope it was comfortable- Simón'.

Ramiro rolls his eyes, throwing himself on the couch. 'At least I gave you the hoodie' you would say something like that? A moron, that's who.

That could have been him if only they didn't screw up so much in the past.

_If only..._

**third act**

_The last day of school Ramiro Ponce kisses Ámbar Smith against a tree and it's not exactly like neither of them imagined it but it's still perfect. Then Luna dies and he skips town and she fucking hates him._

_He had always been selfish to the core, she should have noticed that earlier._

**xv.**

"This is a setup date"- Ramiro exclaims while Ámbar is looking in the mirror, trying to pick up a dress- "I can't believe you haven't realized that"

"It's not. Delfi and Jaz wanted to go out with Pedro and Nico and offered me to go with them so Simón wouldn't be alone. Now which one"

He snorts. Is she playing dumb or she doesn't realize anything about her romantic life anymore? She is smarter than that, he knows that.

_Maybe she likes Simón._

"The light blue one matches your eyes"- she smiles, putting the pink one in the wardrobe and looking in the mirror to imagine the make-up she could wear. There was a nice color in a palette that Jazmin gave her for her birthday, maybe she could use that.

"Do you think I'm pretty?"- she suddenly asks, surprising the boy- _he always thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world._

Her younger self would laugh at her, her ego bigger than the whole mansion at that time, but now she only the fragile ghost of who she used to be and she doesn't feel pretty enough.

"Ms. My-ego-is-bigger-than-my-house, are you asking me if you are pretty?"- the sarcasm in his voice makes her roll her eyes and, weirdly enough, smile at the same time. Why did she ask him anyway? He used to kiss everyone who had an heart-beat.

She goes to the bathroom to get ready, giving him the middle finger before leaving the room. He laughs for a few seconds, then he remembers what she told him. How Benicio used to treat her, what he always told her to keep her with him, how he dared to make her feel less than she was because he was scared to lose her.

He let himself fall on the couch, hating that guy with every fiber of his body- _well, of his soul because he doesn't have a body anymore_\- and waiting for her to get out of the bathroom to speak with her.

"Hey bonita"-he mocks his friend as soon as he notices blondes hair in the hallway, stopping as soon as he takes a good look at her.

She is always being gorgeous, at least in his eyes, and that dress on her is just wow. And he can't shake the ugly feeling in his chest that tells him that he should have been the one.

"Stop making fun of him!"- she complains throwing the purse at him, realizing too late that it will trespass him- "Shit!"

"Well I was about to compliment you but now I'm hurt"- he jokes, ignoring the fact that she looks so pretty and she is going on a date with Simón.

Fuck, he used to like that guy- _he still does, he is just jealous_\- but now every time he thinks of him he just gets angry- _at himself, because he never told her how he felt, at their destiny because it ripped away every chancè he had and at his friend because he is alive and has a possibility with her._

Ámbar shakes her head, laughing silently while taking her purse from the couch and fixing in on her shoulder.

"I'm gonn-"- "You look beautiful"

They are in silence for a few seconds that someone knocks at the door.

_That's another thing they will never talk about._

**xvi.**

Simón is a really nice guy, she always knew. She always has fun with him and she doesn't feel like she is a complete bitch near him because he brings out her best part, but he also ignores her darker self. He always focuses on the good and pretends that the bad in the world doesn't exist. So she smiles and for a few minutes she tries to be like him, but then they face the world and she can't pretend.

She can't pretend that she doesn't notice the way a ghost looks at her with lust trying to get closer until she glares at him, or the way a drunk man cat calls her from the other side of the street.

The truth is that she liker Simón-_ everyone does_\- and they have a great time together but then she remembers dark curly hair under a stupid baseball hat, the guy that stood up for her in every situation- _no matter how fucked was_\- and she realizes that he is not the one for her.

And the realization is just a cruel joke on her because her one love is now dead, and she never told him anything. They never had a possibility or maybe they did and they wasted it. What if they had more than one and they threw them all away?

At the end of the night, he kisses her on her cheek, and she thinks that it's a nice feeling, but her mind can't help but wonder how would it be if he was Ramiro.

**xvii.**

The next day Ámbar is making cookies while Ramiro is sitting on the counter laughing his ass off. She has always been a terrible chef but seeing her trying to cook while also dancing to the ABBA's song 'Lay all your love on me' is something that he never thought he would see in his life. There are already some cookies in the oven and there is a countdown that is running out of time, even if neither of them knows.

It feels natural like it's always being that way, like it should be this way for the rest of her life.

_Like is them against the world all over again and they are teenagers one more time._

The blonde slides next to him, ending in front of him and both of them laugh at the once Queen of the rink. She used to be so perfect in everything and now she is tripping because of her white socks.

The atmosphere in the room change as soon as the two of them stops laughing and they look in each other's eyes. Their smiles fade away slowly but they can't look away from the other's eyes-_ why is it always the eyes?_

Ramiro moves his hand against her cheek, forgetting that he is not gonna feel anything if not a warm sensation under his palm.

The cold from the contact sends chills all over her body and she wishes, with every fiber of her being, that she could feel his skin against hers, that she could kiss him in that exact moment.

"I wish I could kiss you right now"- he is whispering and she would really be pissed at him- _he knows she hates whispering_\- if she wasn't too surprised to speak. That is the moment when she realizes that she had been waiting for what's about to happen for a long time- _maybe since their first/last kiss in the schoolyard._

They both lean closer, forgetting that they won't ever touch or feel the other until they are the inches apart, still looking in each other eyes. They don't want to look away, almost as they're scared to kill whatever is happening. For a second they forget everything that happened.

It feels like the time has been frozen as they could stay in that moment for the rest of eternity, just the two of them.

_But it doesn't work that way and they should know better._

The timer of the oven rings and the atmosphere breaks, bringing them back in the- cruel- reality. He is a ghost- in a few years he will become a shadow if he doesn't follow the light path-_ and she is a girl with her whole life in front of her_. He is gonna finish his business sooner or later and will leave her alone, dealing with an heart-break she will never get over.

_They were never meant to be together._

Ámbar moves toward the oven to open it, wishing to take back the last ten minutes because she wants to kiss him now, trying to erase the moment from her mind- and keeping it close at the same time.

Another song from the ABBA starts and both of them smile sadly at the irony without looking at each other.

_Because of course, it started 'The winner takes it all', that's their fucking luck._

**xviii.**

Ámbar and Matteo visit Luna's grave but the blonde can't shake the feeling of loneliness from her. It's been almost two years but she still remembers everything vividly, like it was yesterday.

"Life is a fucking joke on us, don't you think?"- he asks trying to not cry, not in front of all these strangers- "I never told Luna I loved and you never told Ramiro you loved him"

It's different than this, she knows it too well. Too many evenings with her cousin, talking about boys, life and their future._ All is useless now._

"Luna loved you too, you know? I always teased her because she was 100% sure you like someone else"- she chuckles at the memories the girl hiding her head under the pillow because she was making fun of her.

"Must be a family trait"- he states with a sad smile before turning to her to put his hand over her shoulder- "Because you never notice that Ramiro was in love with you"

_But he is wrong there because she always knew, she was only scared to tell him that she loved him too._

**xix.**

Technically she could be in love with a ghost, it could work. Yeah, they could never touch each other but as far as now it worked, right?

It's not like she is gonna complain if she can spend the rest of her life with the guy she loves since she was fourteen. Maybe they stand a chance after all- _maybe they are destined to be together._

**xx.**

He is completely and absolutely in love with her.

He loves her, it took him to die and haunt her for two months to fucking admit it out loud but he loves her. And she loves him back, the girl of his dreams loves him back.

Which is why he needs to leave, because he would keep her away from her life because they are a tragedy.

_Because they were never meant to be together._

**xxi.**

As soon as she gets back home she notices that Ramiro is standing on his feet, against the wall and that's already weird since he is always on the couch. Then she realizes that he is whimpering and he is gonna cry soon.

"I lied to you"- she doesn't understand and she is terrified- "I know what's keeping me here. I've known for a while now but I wouldn't admit it because I'm scared to lose you"

What does he mean? Lose her? She doesn't understand anything and Ramiro is crying and she can't touch him to comfort him- _can they go back and start the conversation all over again?_

"I-It's you, it's always been you. I'm i-in love with you but I could never tell you and now I'm dead and-"- he stops talking when he feels something warm against his cheek, the feeling of her hand, and he hopes that he will remember it in the afterlife.

"I love you too-"- he stops her there, shaking vigorously his head- "I'm leaving. I can't do this to you, you deserve to be happy"

"You do too. You make me happy, please don't leave me"- She tries to hold to him, begs him to stay, letting all her pride shatter to the ground just to be with him- "I can't lose you too"

She refuses to add his name to the list of the ones she will never see again, to not being able to spend the rest of her life with him- to admit that they lost their happy ending.

"I love you, Ámbar Smith, I've always loved you"- she lets herself fall on the floor- "And I've been selfish for too long"

**epilogue**

_Ámbar Smith and Ramiro Ponce's love was written in the stars._

_What everyone seems to forget it's that nothing lasts forever and, eventually, even stars fade._

**xxii.**

Ámbar wakes up alone on the couch, after watching the last film with Ramiro, after seeing the guy she loves for the last time. She tried to stay awake to not miss a single second of the boy but, eventually, she fell asleep and he left. He left her with teary eyes and a sad smile on his face, kissing- _trying to kiss_\- her forehead and then walking towards the light- _technically was only towards the hallway but it was towards the light for him._

Suddenly the apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, it feels like four walls that hold to many memories that she wants to forget- _it feels like she is back in the mansion after Luna's death_\- and she is suffocating, like if she is underwater. She needs to breathe and break free from some walls all over again.

She gets up and puts some shoes on, leaving the house in a few seconds, her mind going back, against her will, to the day of her first kiss with Ramiro. How perfect it was, the way his lips- _she needs to forget, she can't deal with that right now or she's not gonna reach him in time._

She runs in the street, not caring about anything, not the drunk mans standing on the corner declaring their love to someone nor the rain that is falling over her with fury. She just wants her best friend Matteo at her side.

He was always there for her and right now that's exactly what she needs- _he is the only one that can understand her._

She rings the bell multiple times until a really pissed Matteo open the door, ready to punch whoever is standing there- "It's fucking 2 am, what the fuc-"

He shuts up as soon as he sees her and his heart shatters. Her teary eyes, the wet hair, and clothes are the first things he notices but not the one that worries him the most, she looks broken. For the first time, he thinks- _he feels_\- that he can't help her.

_And he goes back when he lost Luna and thought he would never find someone else in his life when he needed someone but the blonde and Gastón were there for him even in his worst days._

"He's gone"- she cries out falling in his arms and losing the ability to stand on her legs, finally letting everything out- "He's gone forever and I love him" "I know Ambs"- she doesn't notice that he is crying too and that they are on the front porch of his house, under the pouring rain.

_The next day Gastón will find them asleep on the couch, still wet and with dried tears still on their cheeks. He won't need to ask them anything, he already knows._

**xxiii.**

An eighteen years old Ámbar is hugging all her friends, happy that she finally finished school, thinking about all the opportunities that the future holds.

"We made it bitches!"- of course, Gastón had to do it and the professor of History gives him a side-eye, making the young boy shut up immediately.

The Chilean grabs her hand, pulling her behind him without the other noticing anything-_ Matteo does but decides to stay quiet._

He leans against her and steals a kiss under one of the trees in the schoolyard. A kiss that both of then wish could last forever, but that it won't.

"Can you believe I made it?"- he whispers against her soft lips smiling fondly before running towards Matteo, leaving the girl with millions of questions in her mind._ And one hope in her heart that will be crashed in a few weeks._

**xxiv.**

Monica gives her a cup of tea, smiling sadly at the young girl with a broken heart. How unfair is life to young lovers, and she knows that is always gonna hurt.

"Do you wanna talk?"- she questions calmly, not wanting to push the girl over the edge and see her break down again in her arms.

"Not really"- it's a whisper and it's so ironic because she always hated to whisper but lately, it's all she can do, not founding enough voice to speak properly.

"Ok"- then they sip their tea in silence, lost in their thoughts on the same topic.

_Some loves are not made to be lived._

**xxv.**

"What does it means that Ramiro left?"- the blonde asks, clutching her fists so tightly that her knuckles get paler than usual- "What the fuck it means Matteo?"

"I don't know"- he states simply trying to not lose control- "I can try to call him aga-"

"He is dead to me"- she cuts him off, surprising her best friend- "Call him and tell him that he can stay wherever he is because for all I care **this** is his funeral too"

_She regrets saying that one second later, but her pride is stronger._

**xxvi.**

Ámbar laughs hugging Simón and kissing him to shut him up.

"I'm right!"- he tries to state but he is laughing too and his girlfriend is kissing him and he finds hard to resist her power.

Delfi, Jazmin, and Pedro smile at their friends' happiness while Nico and Gastón are challenging each other to see who can eat more marshmallow without stopping and Matteo is the judge. Jim and Yam are dancing in the living room while Nina records them for her their youtube channel trying to not laugh when she sees Nico falling from his chair.

_It looks like they never been through the pain like they are the full group and nothing happened._

"Guys I have to tell you something"- it's Pedro that is talking and everyone already knows what he is about to say- "I'm pregnant and Delfi is gonna be father!"

The brunette girl massages her temples with her finger, wondering why her boyfriend is so damn idiotic and everyone else just starts laughing at the poor boy that doesn't understand what he said that was so funny.

"It's not a j-"- "Delfi is pregnant and you are gonna be a father"- correct Simón patting his shoulder before hugging him- "Congratulation man"  
The blonde smiles, hugging her friend and smiling at her belly- "Don't worry little thing, you will have an amazing aunt"

**xxvii.**

Ramiro stares at the phone in his hands, thinking that he could call her and explain himself. Jesus, he would rather hear her scream at him than to not hear her at all. Maybe he could show up at the mansion to explain everything to her. She won't forgive him immediately, he knows she won't, but maybe he could try to fix everything.

Maybe one day they will have another chancé but for now, he only wants to make up for being an absolute asshole, to be her friend again.

The traffic light turns green and he starts the car, not knowing that someone else won't respect the 'STOP' sign on the other side and their cars will crash into each other.

_The day he was hoping for, that he was praying for, it will never come._

**xxviii.**

Ámbar stands on the balcony of the mansion looking at the stars while everyone else is partying for the news. She is happy for Delfi and Pedro, she is happy with Simón and she is happy for all their achievements. And yet, she is not fully, completely happy as she should be.

"I know you are there, I can feel you idiot"- she smiles sadly as soon as he reaches her, looking at the stars just like her.

"How many of those do you think are dead right now?"- is a simple question that makes her smiles sadly, not knowing which answer to give him- _probably most of them._

"Alcohol?"- Matteo offers her a glass filled with vodka that he found in the kitchen- _why it was there is a mystery._

She takes it and observes the object for a few seconds before raising it to the sky- "To the love we lost because we were too late and too scared to stand a chancé against destiny"- "And the love we found in our darkest times, so we could still believe in fate"

They drink it fast, smiling to each other as soon as they finish before starting to laugh.

_Because in the end, every love story that was ever born is a fucking tragedy._


End file.
